Caption Competition Mk III
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Don’t worry, we have come in cabbage kit so no one will know we are here.
It was only a very short test at low power of the Dynamic Dysentery Device, but the darkish fellow at the back is already feeling damp around the rear end...
Sadly hair loss is an unavoidable hazard for anybody who stands within 3 metres of this device……
It's deadly, and amazingly accurate, down to the sub-atomic level, but here's the thing, sir, it is programmed not to discriminate between... erm... it says here... shapes, colours, religions, height, weight, race or nationality, friend or foe, human or animal, sex or age. Whaddya reckon?
Gnome de PPRuNe
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...not only that, it's also earmarked to represent Britain at Paris 2024 in all track events, plus the long and high jump - it can't do the triple jump as it hasn't figured out how to skip yet...
So, let me get this straight, its easy to use, two men can carry it if required to any point of the battle area, takes only ten minutes to set up and requires just 30 minutes instruction ....
.....but we have to have the building in the background set up with the batteries inside and an extension cable which takes REME a week to position!....
.....but we have to have the building in the background set up with the batteries inside and an extension cable which takes REME a week to position!....
We have spent three weeks translating the messages it has been sending / receiving since it arrived from another galaxy..
and ...
..well Sir, It was asked it had found intelligent life ........ and it just laughed back!
and ...
..well Sir, It was asked it had found intelligent life ........ and it just laughed back!
Gnome de PPRuNe
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It's based and improves upon Mayor Khan's ULEZ expansion camera system. If anybody tries to invade with vehicles older than a year, it charges them £1000...
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It looks really high tech..
but what does it do?
Nothing, but that’s not the point, it looks high tech, the yanks have seen it and have committed to a large order.
but what does it do?
Nothing, but that’s not the point, it looks high tech, the yanks have seen it and have committed to a large order.
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As you can see I have pre-loaded it with 4 red bowling balls, it should guarantee you a strike every time in the up and coming mess night competition.
Your turn on the hand pump to get it to 40' sir
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"... and, it can suck a golf ball through five feet of garden hose!"
- Ed
- Ed