View Full Version : pilots

Jonathan Lynch
7th May 2000, 02:08
Tips for a 17 year old enthuasist

need to know
7th May 2000, 02:59
Depends what you are enthusiastic about??????

And that's what I think about that.

half a monte
8th May 2000, 14:15
Yeh.......don't think about it just go ahead and do it.

Willy Jazz the cans 2
9th May 2000, 16:25
Never pat burning dogs.

left skid low
10th May 2000, 00:58
Don't eat yellow snow!! ;)

20th May 2000, 02:56
Dear Johnathan,

Yes.... But they are a little saggy !

Love Marge

20th May 2000, 03:29
On a more seriouse note, learn ALL the drills/memory items off by heart so well that you could do them with a bin over your head and someone banging on the outside with a stick!!!! - Do this and it will really pay dividends at any stage of training you are at.

[This message has been edited by foxmoth (edited 19 May 2000).]

22nd May 2000, 18:37
Don't make love on a bed of nails...(it hurts your knees)

But on a more serious note, Keep your eyes peeled at all times.....enter newsagents and see how many aviation magazines you can read through before you get thrown out the shop. (check especially the back where they advertise)

and don't waste even a year...(especially if you want to go with BA)

oh yes and most importantly..don't get discouraged and keep at it. If you really want it, you'll know that you're doing your best and have a better chance.

Oh 1 final thing, be proud that you want to be a pilot, if people laugh at you (and you will get that) don't worry about it, when you're flying and they're frying (and asking whether you want fries with that) you'll have the last laugh.

I'm not laughing yet but when i do.....DAMN WILL IT BE LOUD

22nd May 2000, 19:24
Dear Jonathan

Find out what an EHSI is, but more important what an EADI is.

If you want to be a pilot, you will need to know these things

Stroke me and I purr rrrrrr

[This message has been edited by VelvetStrokes (edited 22 May 2000).]

Biggles Flies Undone
22nd May 2000, 19:35
And find out which tank the Caffreys goes in.......

Jonathan Lynch
26th May 2000, 23:48
Thanks for all the replies but whats does EHSI and EADI mean. I know what things like ETOPS and EGPWS mean.

PPRuNe Towers
28th May 2000, 16:22
Calling Hamrah!!!

Regards from the Towers


2nd Jun 2000, 17:06

Ok, perhaps not. Jonathan follow your heart.


Keep smiling!

2nd Jun 2000, 22:34
Four Letter Abbreviations for Begginers (FLAB)

EADI = Executive Aviator's Dithering Incident
EHSI = Extra High Sexual Intensity
ETOPS= Equine Tarts on Popsicle Sticks
EGPWS= Elephantitus Gonads Plunge With Sex

There are more but I dont have my books with me. I am sure Marge can help with some more though.

7th Jun 2000, 09:04
This is Agony Aunt forum so Im assuming Jonathans question is to do with the "heart"?
Well hes come to the right place and your Uncle Slash will give you some sound advice because he was 17 once too. Right now your gonads are going crazy and you want to bed every bloody female on earth - NOW! Ive been there and done...er...still doing that! :)

* Young women go for a great sense of humor rather than brawn (but they wont go to bed with fat guys!). So cultavate a good sense of humor, stay trim, and in no time she'll dump her muscle-bound moron boyfriend for you very quickly. (Just dont let her boyfriend find out what you look like!) :)

* Dont open your fly on a first date unless she asks you to. Open it on the 2nd.

* Unfortunatley you still have to go through similar dating crap with young chicks as we older farts have to with women our same age before you bed them: the Do You Know Such and Suches, the Have You Been To Such and Such Place?, the Who Do You Know From XXXX? and other mindless drivel. Theres no way around it. Just bear with it and hope for the best.

* Always pretend to agree with everything she says.

* Pay for everything.

* If you dont have a car dont panic! Just say something like your buying a car like Johnnos in 2 months but yours will be more hotted up. By the time 2 months arrives youll have bonked her and dumped her by then. If she says your full of crap just say you had to use the money as bail for your mums best friends cousin up North.

* If after the second date all you get is a grope then be thankful for that and dont push it. At least its her hand doing the groping this time and not yours!

* Dont date any smart teenagers. There too cerebral and will logicaly talk you out of any chance of bonking them. Theyll do this AFTER youve paid the resturant bill.

* Stay clear of virgins. The wining and dining bill will be astronomical by the time you get into her pants and youll be bankrupt with no money left for flying lessons.

* If you discover she "has a taste for it" dont dump her! Hang on to her as long as posible at ALL costs even if it takes you to bankruptcy and debtors prison! And for Gods sake dont upset her. Teenage girls like that are precious, an extreme rarity, and Gods gift to Mankind! http://geocities.com/r337m0nk3y/net/lickout.gif

* Yeh. Use a condom until youve mastered the emergency pullout manouver.

* Never say no to women over 30 who want you as there toyboy.

Good luck!

Your Wise Old Uncle Slasher.

8th Jun 2000, 10:37
Damned sound advice that,Slasher.Wish I'd known that at 17 - thank God they shipped me to Australia.A-M-A-Z-I-N-G birds.

"* Yeh. Use a condom until youve mastered the emergency pullout manouver."

Even better is if you can find an obliging lass to "finish you off" (and swallow)

Sorry, getting a bit carried away.Time for a cold shower

We've got to start thinking beyond our guns

Willy Jazz the cans 2
8th Jun 2000, 13:47
Superb words of wisdom there Slasher-nice one!

I'm on my way!

Jonathan Lynch
8th Jun 2000, 23:19
Sound advice lads but I was sort of looking for advice on being a pilot!

9th Jun 2000, 02:57
What makes you think it's different?

9th Jun 2000, 14:20
Do the lotto!! ;)

10th Jun 2000, 04:22
Oh Slasher, wondrous Captain of the Skies, how do we girls manage whilst you are in the blue yonder.

Jonathan listen to Uncle Slash, he's had the experience and managed to evade the 'M' state, though he nearly did get hooked. So never get too drunk, and when you say 'I'll give you a ring', be sure she understands you mean the telephone.

Stroke me and I purr rrrrrr I'm such a sensual babe

but remember I have claws as well

10th Jun 2000, 12:49
VS! Hi darling!

Yep I totaly agree with everything you said in you post. Thanks! I didnt know you were such a smart lady! :)

By God you look great! Your better than I imagined! Hey thats a great dress. Is it from Harrods? Oh Im so sorry darling I should have known it was Versace! So many dresses these days its a little hard to tell. Oh yes! Versace is all you! Giovanni had YOU in mind when he designed it! Huh? Oh ha ha ha! Thank you! Yes thats right - Gucci. Do you like the belt buckle? Yeh I agree it clashes too. You have such a wonderful dress sense Velvet!

Yep I do you know Redsnail and PP. Yeh but I havent met them in person yet. Huh? Yeh! Great girls! Oh God yeh Vel ha ha ha, who can forget that post? huh? Whats that? No I havent met Danny yet. Pardon? Oh yeh! Hes a great guy alright. Who? Oh yeh hes a great guy too. Yeh I think there all great guys dont you?

Yeh Velvet Ive been to London. You ever been to SE Asia? Well Nam is different. Hmm..sort of like Exeter but with Asians. Huh? Yep Madam Tussuads, Big Ben, you know the usual places. Er..only gone as far as Eastbourne. Come again? Oh well Manchester, Yeh? Well Ill certainley like to go there and see it too. Would you be my guide? Hey thats great! Maybe next visit then?

Umm...a Landrover honey. Yep its late model. 1998. Yeh Im thinking up upgrading to a larger model. How about red? Reds your favorite too? Oh great! Ok a new red Landrover it is.

Oh and Vel you can put your next big resturant meal on my Visa.

Does this post count as a first date?

Ok Velvet. Now that we've both gotten past this stage...


10th Jun 2000, 13:42
Did you ever hear of "forum flurting"

12th Jun 2000, 23:53
Well, have I been slashed or complimented. actually, I'm bleeding, so well-earned sobriquet. Not entirely sure what brought on that rather bizarre posting Slasher, don't recognise any of the references. Assume my previous posting caused such a lambasting. I will not edit it, but have no compunction about publicly apologising if it upset you.

No matter, you've achieved your aim, I think I'll take a sabatical from the forums.

But send me the visa number darling and I'll make sure that I spend ooodles of your money on a new outfit. On second thoughts, perhaps not.

Stroke me and I purr rrrrrr I'm such a sensual babe

but remember I have claws as well

[This message has been edited by VelvetStrokes (edited 13 June 2000).]

13th Jun 2000, 00:53
Oh Slash! God man you're looking BUFFED! You been working out? ... Love handles??! ...you jest surely?!; what love handles??!! Hhhmmm and that outfit: singlet and boxers...really becoming; makes you look very tall; and makes that gut invisible... that is, if you had a gut... which you certainly don't ...at all...

Say, nice wheels man! Would that be the model with the double over head cam fuel injection quadruple disc alloy brakes with side impact bars and extra wide wheel base air-con? oooOOOooohhh!! Good taste!




I see!

Oh really!

That big huh!?

Oh that fast?!

Really! That long eh?

Oh wow!

Gosh that's really impressive!

Did he?

So what did you say? ...oh that really showed him!

Did you? Oh thats tough!

Well that's enough about flying... lets talk about you! :)

13th Jun 2000, 08:08
VS relax! It wasnt a slashing. It was a natural follow-on to http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/Forum50/HTML/000074-3.html ( have you forgotten about it already? http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif ) and thought here would be the best place to get the first date out of the way! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

PS Doubles also as a practical demo for Jonathan. :)

13th Jun 2000, 21:02
Slasher - quote
Nah you wont be suicidal tackling me dear and youll find me very accomadating and extremely polite, gentle and sweet natured with any opposing arguments you might put forward.................

until AFTER Ive had sex with you


Does this mean darling Slash that we've had sex and I didn't notice.

Stroke me and I purr rrrrrr I'm such a sensual babe

but remember I have claws as well

Jonathan Lynch
14th Jun 2000, 01:26
Stroke me and I purr rrrrr,
Does that mean to Slasher.ha ha ha!

14th Jun 2000, 02:44
Jonathan honey, when you are as appealing as Slasher, then purring just seems the natural thing to do.

Stroke me and I purr rrrrrr I'm such a sensual babe

but remember I have claws as well